The Escribitionist

Beautiful! My living room was just the tribune for the splendid fireworks on the cinder path and soccer square in front of my terrace and windows. It was incredible, even more than the Gentse Feesten.  It must have cost a fortune. Damn, I don’t think I’ve ever seen fireworks so close. They must have cost a fortune really. Fantastic colours and so many oooh’s an aaaah’s. A pity though Roebi and Ilya weren’t here to see it, well instead I gave them my DVD of Lord Of The Rings to watch, so they’ll be happy.

Well okay, here I go again, in my attempt – of so many already – to survive. You see, I am so not free. And how I want to be as well as feel free again. And I cannot really do anything about it myself. And that’s annoying and irritating. After all the mud the three conservatives dragged me through, with damn lawyers and damn registered writings, last year, I have become locked up. Of course, I can talk very good with some of you (thanks Joke, thanks Paul and thanks to so many others who were there for me when the one I really needed wasn’t). But my true readers, my dear friends, they now that my life is zero when I can’t write in public. And I guess you guys also hate to see me writing kind of superficial and not really getting deep like I used to. I cried a bit for that today, because I really want to write down what goes on in my mind. You know, that dumb question the GP asked my mum was a rather dumb remark the conservatives told the GP last year. Silly, because I have a great relationship with my parents. Regarding last year I may seem or be a little bitter, but do you blame me really? I think anyone would have been dragged through it. I don’t care if they read this or what they’ll do. I need this, even if they don’t like it. Every human has a freedom of opinion, and I’m still a human.

I’m probably going to put my whole journal of the last three and a half years and even before online again in a while. That’s the only thing I have and the only thing that’s going to make me happy. And if I live long enough to finish my memoir, it’ll be published, cross my heart.

I feel better with this off my chest. But I want Bart to hold me for a moment.

I just had an interesting conversation about having a whiplash that can rest for as long as you live. I also was in a very bad car-crash some 14 years ago (do you remember all of those pile ups on the E40 on one day, it was a news topic?). I was taken to the intensive care department because I bumped with my head to the car-ceiling. We were in a jeep so that must have taken a lot of he bump away. And the bump was huge because a truck was involved, he bumped the whole pile up together. My neck did hurt a bit but it wasn’t severe so the doctors let me go.

Just now I realised that I begun having migraine after that accident. I also have aches in my neck muscles a lot and an extreme stiff neck (forticollis).

See, my period is kind of over. It was a fake one, as so many I have are. Still very  painful

So, in the Gentse Feesten I’ll probably see Ellen again and Joke and I will probably also meet. Joke is so fun and as English minded as I am. Perhaps with Ronald?

I made some pear with cheese bits in the oven. I have of those yummy baby pears. And I covered them with Chaumes. Easy, but so yummy.

Lately, I’ve got this sad period once in a while if I have period. And they really hurt. Not that I have so many, the gynaecologist explained to me I was less fertile. I really miss having a painless period.

Okay, some people did get my mail, so it’s no problem anymore.

So, when I said I always told a guy I had a crush on him, I always had the luck to tell him because he wasn’t actually a friend of mine or something like that. I can certainly agree that things are more complicated when you’re falling for a best friend. And if you do get a blue one, it’s hard to seek peace with that, but in the end it’s less painful and that is so true.

Err, I just got one mail delivery failure message, I hope they got the rest. One thing is certain: I do receive mails (of all kinds).

Hahaha, my mails were sent, I just thought they weren’t. Silly me, lots of people will get ten mails from me. But that’s better than none. Forgive me for being so stupid but I, haha, panic very fast, apparently.

Honestly, it’s not about that, but my mail somehow refuses to send itself (or to be sent at least). Why? No idea, one moment I could still mail and the other I couldn’t. doesn’t my computer know that putting me out of mail-ability is very dangerous. I need so much. I need to be able to mail. But what does Outlook care!

I’ve been thinking about subjects I could write my columns about in the newspaper. I thought about blogging. Because, really, that would be a great topic. What’s this thing with blogger? Bloggers seek blogging friends, bloggers have avirtual life next to their real one, bloggers are creative, bloggers are social or at least e-social, bloggers are dreamers ansd they are very smart. Bloggers are masters in manipulating – in a constructive way – their readers through their writing. We attract them and if they stay, we are manipulating really. Like when you get absorbed by some  book.

I have been so lazy lately. Concerning writing anyway. Well, I’ve been writing my journal alright, but that’s all it came. I’ve been busy thinking too much of a guy, and I shouldn’t really. What is it hat always make you long for more after a while. I shouldn’t, but I’m still happy with him he makes me so me.

I have very good recipes I’d say, my parents and Ira came over and they liked my quorn sauce. I love experimenting with food and tastes.

I gained some weight during the past months, not that much, but these last months I’ve been drinking a glass of lemon juice every morning. Lemon juice burns lipids an decreases hunger and I think it works great.